Chicken shit

Dear Elsa,

Pls stop being a chicken shit and start taking charge of your feelings.
Remove your ego and freaking take the next step already.

You can do this!
See where life takes you.

Allah will help you in every step of the way, in sha allah.
Don't lose anymore chances. You CAN do this.

Amin.

XO

There is no such thing as regrets. Only lessons learnt

i come to realize that i will only blog whenever i feel upset...

But i also realize that i need to blog when i'm happy either so that whenever i feel sad, i can read back all my happy entries and appreciate my life better even if it is as small as when the time abam smiled at me...  

So anyway, few things i've learnt today

A) never be honest when it comes to working

B) always remember that when you're not honest with whatever you do, your ass is covered. However, you can never grow as a person. I learnt the hard way. 

C) i gotta do better and start to focus and be more discipline. I am always giving in to procrasination and it is not cool.

D) i need to freaking grow some balls and talk to abam already. I'm getting bored of only crushing on him from afar zzz

E) it's the first week of march and i need to diet and exercise consistently. Three months to go till miranda kerr

F) people come and go and not everything go as planned. When one door closes, another door will open. In my case, ive been dreaming to get a new position in my company which is to be a senior associate and i prayed to allah everyday so that he will fulfil my wish. However, i also learnt the hard way that it may not happen because i need to improve myself first. Same goes to my physical body, my imaan, my ability to be a good future wife and everything else.

So yeah, i feel so much better now!

Thanks for reading,

XO

Syukur Alhamdullilah

Sometimes the littlest thing in life can make you feel so grateful beyond words.

Earlier today, i had a presentation to my boss on my business analysis and market analysis.

To be honest my Market Analysis was a wreck. I came up with  sekeleton draft on my powerpoint slides but i didn't have enough time to finish it.  During the weekend, i was busy working on my business analysis because it's more challenging as you need to come up with all sorts of analysis in order for it to be meaningful.

Basically, giving insights based on financial datas are not easy and yes i did struggle with it. I spent like almost a week to complete the first draft and it's not even finished. So F that.

So yeah, work starts today and we were supposed to have the presentation at 9.30am onwards and i can only tawakal to Allah. I prayed that my 70% progress on business analysis and 20% progress on market analysis would be good  enough for me to avoid from  getting scolded by my boss. Lolz.

As the time for our presentation approaches, suddenly my immediate supervisor informed us that the presentation has been postponed to 4.30pm. HURRAH!  So yeah, we managed to buy more time to finish our tasks. One of my supervisor called me in to check on my progress and i'm glad that he did so because he gave me a damn good solution on how to finish my Market Analysis in such a short span of time. Syukur to that as well.

blah blah blah and bammm it's almost 4.30pm and my colleague presented his portion first. To be honest things were looking pretty intense during his presentation and i was really scared because it was my turn next and i was not prepared. What do i say? What if my analysis is stupid? Ahhh FTS.

Right before my presentation, my boss was teasing me because she could tell that i was bloody nervous. Lol. At 6.30pm, it was my turn to present. Basically, my colleague did not receive very good feedback from the bosses and my boss also made a remark that the comment that i'm going to receive later is going to be  the same  as my colleague who presented before me. Bare in mind that i have not presented my portion yet.

I smiled politely and as i was opening my slides , it had like 15 slides for my business analysis and my boss said "That's a lot". I smiled again and i start presenting my part with 45% confidence. Two minutes later, my boss did a quick comment by saying that "you must have rehearsed your line before this presentation" (to be honest, i didn't because of time constraint)  So yeah blah blah blah and slowly my confidence starts to build up as my second immediate supervisor commented the word "interesting" a few times as i presented my case. You know it's a good thing when your boss says "interesting" to your presentation slides.  So yeah again, alhamdullilah to that as well.

Blah blah blah and my presentation ended. My boss gave her final remark with the line  "GOOD JOB ELSA" and to add the cherry on top of all this, My other colleague asked me "so how many times have u rehearsed before this?" I replied with "none" and then he asked again "don't lie, how many times have u rehearsed before this?" And i responded with "honestly,i didnt".

Incase you're wondering why am i so proud of this mini achievement is because i am the youngest among my colleagues and in terms of our position,i am the only junior executive in my department (while the others are senior executive level  and above). Therefore, to receive this recognition although it's small, it means alot to me. It shows that i am learning and i do take note of whatever my seniors have taught me. Again, alhamdullilah.

Allah is the best.


Also, my next mission is to be a senior executive in my department this year,  In sha allah. That is the dream.

Thanks allah for everything.  Forever Syukur alhamdullilah! #littleachievement #stillablessing #strivetobebetter #mustfocusongettingaboyfriendaswell #Lol

Xoxo

Rambling

I am super addicted to spotify! I am kinda sick of the old songs. Therefore, spotify is the current perfect app cos it  plays all the latest songs. Also, is it just me or there's no T Swift songs under spotify? hmmm...

Besides that, just wanna let the whole world know that my new motto is "FUCK THIS SHIT"
This helps during situations;

A) That makes me  think ten times to just go for it
B) If things turn out well for me, then alhamdullilah. If not, FTS and move on.

Lolz.

I is boredz...


Have a goodnight peeps!

XO

Be yourself

My mom told me to always be myself in whatever i do. In working life, love life, social life  and etc.

I think my mom is right. 

People who can't accept you for being who you are can go suck popsicles. 

Plus, being other people can be very tiring. 

Being yourself is definitely the best. I like people who are real to me. Good or bad, it's still better than  fooling people by being fake. 

So yeah, if u plan to be friends with me. Just be you. The worst that can happen is me keeping my distance from you. Lolz 

Just Kidding. I'm very friendly and nice. SERIOUSLY 

XO

Crush

How to know if someone has a crush on you?

Easy.

a) they steal glances at you a lot
b) they compliment you a lot
c) they are around you a lot
d) they tease you a lot but in a flirty way
e) they are extra caring towards you
f) they ask you out a lot
g) they notice the little things about you
h) they are shy around you but are usually loud around other people
i) they are persistent to get your number/picture/asking you out
j) they smile at you a lot

And the list goes on and on...

To be very sure if somebody really has a crush on you, you can either ask them straight up or if you are a 'chicken shit' like me, you can continuously flirt with this person until they confess their love to you (warning! Only go for this step if you feel the same way as him/her)

As for me, you can tell that i have a crush on you by my actions. I will be super quiet around you and i will somehow unintentionally make a fool out of myself around you. This happened recently. *ultimate face palm*  Way to go Elsa!

Till then,
XO

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Today feels like a good day to blog.

I am honestly looking forward for tomorrow. "Pretty" boys from work are going to catwalk for my company's re-branding event. *throws confetti* & YES I LIKE TO LOOK AT GOOD LOOKING GUYS. Lol

So anyway, last year i decided to tell my family and a few close friends that I'm planning to put on the Hijab permanently.

When? I'm not sure myself too. I just want to make sure that everything is in order before I go through with my decision.

I have friends who told me to put it on immediately since I have already received my "calling".

However, i want the world to understand that it is not easy to transform people from someone who is so used to letting her hair down, wearing whatever she likes and don't even feel the slightest bit of guilt when doing so to a person who is sincere about having a 360 degrees change from Head to Toe (H2T) for Allah.

Therefore, let me do it on my own terms alright?

I do not expect Muslim boys to understand this because they are not required to fully cover their aurat/aurah.

When it comes to making this dream into a reality, so many questions have been lingering on my mind...Like...

1. What if I look ugly in the Hijab?
2. What if nobody notices me when I'm in the Hijab?
3. What if the sun is so hot that I feel super hot when I'm wearing the Hijab and then get a headache?
4. What if I do not put on a proper Muslimah clothes that is up to the standard?
5. What if people judge me more after I start wearing the Hijab?
6. What if I give up and go back to my old self?

And the list goes on and on...


I do think that this is a VERY big deal for me. It's definitely going to be one of my biggest achievement in life and I'm glad that Allah has chose me to do this. Alhamdullilah.

So before i end this post, I just want to clear the air by saying that I've decided to go for my final clubbing session soon simply because I want to make peace with my past and move on with a beautiful brand-new future, In Sha Allah.

Hope to receive good prayers from all my readers (if any)

XO